Get Set…To Guard Your Family Against Stress.
Commuting two hours for
work…reaching late….Boss gives hell for not meeting project deadlines… you drop
coffee/ketchup on your white clothes…generally, a bad day at work…tremendous
headache…you come home…your children are bickering amongst themselves…your spouse
enters the scenario and throws in a complaint or two about you…you all end up
having a yelling match! By the end of it all your headache has turned into a
head splitting pain…you are tired, frustrated and drained out of any remaining
energy that you still had…not to mention facing the boss again tomorrow…and it’s
just Tuesday…no respite till the weekend from all this humdrum…all you want to
do now is shut yourself away from everyone and everything…but you end up
shouting at the others…and ultimately it all culminates in a fight…
Does any of this sound familiar? If
yes, well, then welcome to the world of stress. Stress is not only in itself a
huge problem, but at the same time it promotes anger, irritability, and tension
to name a few. Stress could be created due to events that have taken place
outside home and a family member furthers it by bringing it inside. It can also
be created due to a built of pent up emotions such as frustrations, anxiety or
mental tiredness that have no release outlet. Too many things on the mind or
too much work can also contribute to it. As discussed above, in all probability
you could be having a terrible time at work and you bring that frustration home
in the form of stress. This in turn leads to events that create tension and stress
in the house. Stress is usually accompanied with crankiness, discontentment,
angry outbursts, fatigue, headaches and a host of other problems. As a result,
a distance could start to form between husband and wife or parents and children
or a distance that separates each family member from another. Though this
sounds scary, it could be true. In the long run, such a situation can
contribute to the family becoming dysfunctional. Therefore before you or any of
the other members are anywhere near such a damaging situation, it is best to
unite as a family and fight it off together, even if it happens to affect only
one member. Read on to know how you can guard your family against stress.
A daily interactive session
amongst the family members helps in reducing stress.
In today’s time of “hectic
schedules”, often it has been noticed that a lot of families rush through the
week at a fast pace with bare minimum interactions with each other, only to
reconnect during the weekends. This is where most of us go wrong. Yes, weekends
are the perfect time to put the worries behind and have a gala time, but
research reports say that stress is encountered mostly in the weekdays.
Therefore, it is not only the weekends when you should reconnect with your
family. Inculcate the habit of setting aside a particular time in the day, when
every member of the family is present. It could be during dinner time or around
the television in the evening. You could also make time for a game of monopoly.
Rituals such as these promote a sense of belonging and security. It creates a
healthy atmosphere that helps us in handling stress better. This particular
time can be used to talk about the day, discuss trivial matters and for lots of
bantering and laughter. You must remember not to turn this daily family time
into a “blame each other match”. This time should be used solely to relax the
mind and drain the stress out and not yell, blame or shout at others just
because they are unable to comprehend the reason behind your disturbed state of
mind.
Do not isolate yourself when
stressed out, talk it out with your family…better still forget about it by
involving yourself in a pillow fight (yes you heard right!)
Continuing with the point discussed
above, more often than not, people tend to isolate themselves to ease out
stress. Agreed, that a long soak in the tub surrounded by scented candles and a
chilled glass of wine or a session of kick boxing might help you feel good,
however temporary solutions such as this do not really help in the long run.
What is needed is a complete rejuvenation, and believe it or not though we
completely ignore the fact, nothing can be as therapeutic as a long interactive
session with your loved ones. Yes, instead of shutting yourself in a room you
could have a healthy discussion with your partner or your children on just
about anything. The stress buster here is sharing, when you share anything the
problem becomes easier to solve. The same can be said of stress. Often, talking
about a problem and discussing it with others helps to minimize it. If you talk
about your day and all the things that made you feel awful, then you will be
instantly letting go of your stress level bit by bit. Trust me, you’ll be
feeling better in no time and stress will be long forgotten. After all how can
you be stressed out when your wife is talking about her theatre workshop, your
son is animatedly discussing his new guitar or your daughter is enticing you
into a pillow fight! It is all about surrounding yourself with positive energy.
In the same way, you could help in easing out your partner or children’s stress
levels by devoting time to them. If your spouse or children seem withdrawn,
then try to get them out of the shell by encouraging them to talk about the
thing that might be bothering them.
Resilience and recreation, both
are important for your children in order to stay free of stress.
It is important to encourage and
promote resilience in the family, especially amongst your children. A lot of
families ignore the fact that anyone can experience stress, even the children,
and especially the teenagers. Homework pressure, the feeling of not being able
to match up to their peers, the tension of not being good enough etc all lead
to the development of stress. Do not ignore the problems of your children, even
if they sound trivial. Help them to cope up with stress by teaching them to
keep a positive outlook in difficult situations. They should be able to handle
stress by a quick bounce back. See that they do not spend most of their time
sitting all alone in a room. They should be encouraged to hang out with
friends. Ensure that they have some sort of a recreation avenue. This goes for
you and your partner too.
Incorporate healthy habits in
your daily life.
Nutritious meal taken at correct time
helps in help in warding off stress. This may sound like a very general advice
but in fact when stressed out, people start to ignore meals. This in itself
creates a host of other problems. Meal time should mean sitting down properly
and devoting at least twenty minutes to the meal. This helps in calming the
mind. During meal time concentrate on the food and banish all other thoughts.
It is also imperative to take time out for a bit of exercise, even if it means
jumping in the backyard! Exercise is one of the biggest stress busters. You
should see that everyone in the family is getting adequate exercise every day.
A good dose of exercise also means a good sleep in the night. If you are not
getting adequate sleep in the night then it will invariably lead to add on
stress the next day. So in order to start the next day on a fresh note, see
that the sleep factor is not lacking. Ensure that there is a routine time when
the lights are switched off, especially when it concerns the children. This
will promote a sense of regularity. A sense of regularity helps in maintaining
discipline. This in its own way does help in keeping out the stress.
Keep stress at bay by ensuring
that everyone manages their time effectively.
Time management is an extremely
important factor when it comes to managing stress. Often, we get stressed out
when we have to run against time. “I am late for work”, “Why do I have to get
stuck in traffic right now when I have a client meeting in five minutes”, “I
have not finished my school project yet and I have to submit it tomorrow”, “The
guests will be here in an hour and we still have not sorted out anything”, “I
forgot to book the tickets”…factors and situations such as these all pile up to
form a high level of stress. Often, small things are kept at the very back, but
it is these small things that culminate together at the last moment to
contribute to a hectic schedule. It has been seen that failure to keep up with
this schedule can lead to stress. Therefore, it is imperative to inculcate the
importance of time management in your family. Avoid the built up of panic by
ensuring that all work is finished before its due time. Do not wait for the
last moment to get started on some important thing. See that the rest of your
family members too, don’t have a pile up of work whether it is preparing a
client report or a school report.
Repeated criticisms of each
other’s shortcomings aggravate stress.
It is important that you do not
contribute to a family member’s stress level by criticism. He or she is your
spouse or your child and you should be there to support them when they approach
you with a problem. Instead of criticizing your son for not getting good
grades, maybe you could sit and discuss the factors which are holding him back
from attaining those. For all you know, he could be completely stressed out
because he’s not doing well which in turn leads to a bad performance again.
Minimize unnecessary criticism, what is needed here is support. Do you really
want to get back home after a maddening day at work to be told, “Dinah, you are looking awful…you need a
makeover and you need to lose weight!” or “Ed, I hope you didn’t forget to pick up the grocery because I am the
one who does it all the time, while the only thing you do is come back home and
read the newspaper”. Well, here you are completely stressed out and your
appearance is the last thing on your mind, and these are the words that you get
to hear (even if said in good regard)…do you think it will help in reducing the
stress level? Or, here you are looking forward to a relaxing time ahead and you
hear your wife complain when all you want is a cup of hot chocolate. She could
have waited for at least some time without barging on you, couldn’t she? In all
effect, you’ll probably push the panic button or retort sarcastically or start
to have a shouting match out and out, which in this case is not the best of
stress buster. Therefore, a session in criticizing is not a very good thing
because it only promotes stress.
Always remember that each member of
the family should be there to support the other emotionally and mentally and
there should be a healthy interaction amongst all. You all need to devote time
to each other in order to understand your own family better. A family that has
a nice camaraderie is able to fight off and guard against stress effectively.
Stress should remain outside the boundaries of your home.
